Chapter 10: Ryan

Days turned into weeks, and the absence of her left a void in my life that I couldn’t ignore. I had been back at work for a while now, but concentrating was difficult.

Doubt began to claw at the edges of my thoughts, eroding the foundation of our brief encounter. She probably thinks I’m a jerk for not calling, I mused, my mind replaying every interaction, every word exchanged. The memory of our goodbye kiss felt like a distant dream, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it had all been one-sided.

Maybe she had met someone else, someone more worthy of her attention. Maybe she had simply lost interest, or perhaps she regretted ever meeting me.

The lack of communication gnawed at me, a constant reminder of the gulf that had formed between us. I should have saved her number immediately!

What if something had happened to her? The thought flickered through my mind like a cold wind, chilling me to the core. My imagination spiraled into a series of worst-case scenarios, each more terrifying than the last. I should’ve asked for her address, I berated myself, my chest tightening with a sense of helplessness.

Regret gnawed at me as I realized the missed opportunities, the chances to secure a more concrete connection. I should’ve been straightforward, given her my number. Maybe she is too busy to read it! OH, why am I such a MORON!

My frustration grew as I berated myself for getting tangled in my own thoughts, for overthinking a situation that had felt so simple during our time together. Who even gets such a bullshit idea, I thought bitterly, questioning the wisdom of my actions.

Every passing day only deepened the sense of despair that had taken root within me. The memory of her smile, her laughter, and the spark between us seemed to fade against the backdrop of my own insecurities.

As time slipped through my fingers like grains of sand, I realized that I had been given a chance at something special, something that had the potential to change my life in ways I hadn’t anticipated. And I had thrown it away.