Chapter 11 – Looking out for myself

“It was so awesome. Why did no one ever tell me how epic it is to lose yourself in the rhythm? How alive you feel while the music is taking hold of your body. It’s just a whole different experience. I used to think that buying tickets and going to concerts was a waste of money since you could listen to songs for free online. But man, was I wrong,” I went on, unable to stop myself from raving about last week’s concert. “Mhm. Yup, concerts are great.” Sadly, it was wasted on my colleague Amira, who only listened disinterestedly to me with one ear while preparing the packages. “Anyway. Are the packages ready yet?” I couldn’t wait to tell Ava about the concert – one of my favourite activities so far. I had enjoyed myself and even danced a little. Something about sharing this experience had turned complete strangers into friends, together delighting in a splendid evening. I sighed, thinking back to those two glorious hours. “Looks like delivery duty’s growing on you,” Amira commented eyeing me suspiciously from the side. “I guess you could say that.” I gave her a wide smile. “Who’d have thought there’d be so many fun things to do around here? This summer is one of the best I’ve ever had. Have I told you about the weekend I planted a tree in the park? Or when I participated in the Dirt Run. Man, that was messy but fun.” I shook my head remembering. “Don’t you… Don’t you think it’s a little… weird? Doing all this stuff just because a stranger tells you to?” she asked then, hesitantly. “Well, if I really didn’t want to do it – then I wouldn’t. But all I know is that since I’ve met Ava, my life’s become… I don’t know how to describe it other than… colourful. I don’t just waste away any more, waiting for my life to change. I’m actually doing stuff,” I tried to explain. “Still. Be careful,” she warned again. My brows pinched and the smile vanished. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Like I said. This whole thing is a little weird. And you’ve changed…” she trailed off. But she had struck a nerve in claiming that. “And how would you know that? You don’t know me. You have never cared enough. I don’t fucking care how weird or pathetic it might seem to you, or anyone really. I don’t give a shit. I’m enjoying myself. For the first time ever. So, respectfully, please keep your opinion to yourself and get back to those packages, so I can go deliver them.” “Sorry.” She held up her hands in defence. “I was only looking out for you,” she argued acting like I was being dramatic. But I didn’t feel like letting her off the hook that easily. “Oh, is that so? You’re looking out for me. How kind. The last I noticed, you all didn’t give a shit about me,” I pressed on. For the first time during this conversation, she actually looked up from her work. “That’s not true. You know that. You’re part of the team.” “Part of the team, huh? Does that mean I’m invited to go for drinks with all of you tomorrow night? ‘Cause strangely no one mentioned it to me. I just overheard you talking about it.” She remained silent at that, her face slowly turning a pale shade of red. “Right, no, that’d be impossible. How else could you gossip about me then?” Avoiding eye contact, she looked down ashamed. “Just…” I sighed. “It’s fine. I don’t actually care. But stop pretending that I’m part of the team, just so I won’t complain about doing all the shit jobs no one else feels like doing. It’s annoying and must be exhausting. It sure is for me. So, just stop and give us both a break.” Instead of further arguing, she just silently handed me the finished packages, and we carried on in silence.