Chapter 12.

Visiting a place where happy memories lie deep in the walls should make one feel welcomed. Strangely, I felt nothing of sorts when my gaze wandered through the halls of Casters Manor. What once were happy memories with Theo by my side now made me want to crumble into myself and cry. Like I haven’t cried enough for my whole lifetime these past few days. Once again, I got caught up in my thoughts and, therefore, didn’t notice where my legs carried me to. It was a new bad habit of mine, living more in my thoughts than in the real world. Not even Bella chided me for it anymore. Of course, I still hear her sad sighs every time she looks at me. But I can live with that, at least she and my parents decided not to push me anymore. A faint rumble a few doors behind me stopped me in my tracks, and I slowly realized I had just passed Theodore’s room. But what was making those sounds? Could I really step into his room this soon? Before I could even think about it for too long, I strode towards the door and ripped it open. Curses were the first things that greeted me, but I didn’t even care to register them. I was petrified on the spot. The room still smelled like him, it was like Theo had just stepped out of it, and it completely messed with my head. Everett’s shabby black hair was the first thing I saw clearly since opening the door. “God, Celest, did you want me to have a fucking heart attack?” It was like a switch, a few seconds ago I was the walking definition of carelessness. Now I feel like smashing in a head with said shabby black hair. Clearly now aware of his choice of words, he cursed once again before walking towards me. How Everett didn’t care about the concept called personal space is really beyond me. To his delight, I didn’t fight him, as he put an arm around my waist and walked with me towards the library. Guess I wasn’t ready at all to be confronted with anything that had to do with Theodore. The longer we walked away from his room, the better I could breathe again. I didn’t even notice at first that my breath left my lugs in ragged huffs. With a last deep breath, I sat down on one of the leather chairs in front of the cozy fireplace. I have always liked it here, it gives me the feeling of being safe. Everett continued to stroll around the library, first to get us both a drink and then, to get a book for himself. That’s exactly how we sat an hour later. Both in a comfortable silence, Everett reading an old classic, I believe, regarding the cover, and me staring at the fire and then again at Everett while still nursing my glass of whiskey. “What would you do? That Theo could come back?” My gaze snapped at his and the sadness in his eyes made me swallow. “I would walk through hell and back, only to hear his voice and see his smile one more time.” Everett just nodded his head and looked at the flames, which were slowly dying. “I wished it would’ve been me. You know?” His confession shocked me, not because I didn’t believe him, no, on the contrary. I knew he would’ve died for his little brother. His eyes slowly turned to me as I stood and walked towards him. Everett straightened in his seat as I kneeled down in front of him. I took his hands in mine and looked at him. His eyes roamed my entire face, before he smiled softly down at me. “Just know, I would even have missed the git you were a few weeks ago. But now? You can’t let me do this on my own. I need you.” His silver eyes sparkled like diamonds in the light and I couldn’t look away, it was captivating. His left hand softly caressed my face, his rings a welcome cool touch on my otherwise hot skin. “I need you too, sunshine.”