Chapter 13 – Choosing truth

“Okay. So, this weekend it’s supposed to have bad weather. I thought you could go to an Escape Room.” Ava looked down at me, excitement visibly humming through her. But I was going to have to disappoint her this time. “No. Absolutely not.” “Come on, you have to!” she pleaded pouting. “No. I actually really don’t. And I’m claustrophobic. So, this one’s definitely off the table.” “Come on. Don’t be a wimp,” she whined again, not giving up. “Nope… I guess…. I guess I’m choosing truth today,” I said, arching a brow. “What?” she asked while she cocked her head and shot me a confused look. “You told me to look at this whole experiment as if it was a game of truth or dare. So far, I’ve gone along with the dares. But today I’m choosing truth.” “Hmm…” She tilted her head and tapped her fingers against her lips pondering the suggestion. “Well… I guess you might have actually found a loophole there. Alright. Truth it is. But I’m going to need a second to figure something out. You know, think of a really great question.” She sighed looking up at the sky as if looking for guidance before she asked, “What are you most afraid of?” This time both my brows shot up. “Seriously? Isn’t that a kind of cliché question?” “Don’t care. Right now, it seems like a very interesting question to me and that’s all that matters.” She sat back in her chair, crossing her arms in front of her chest, evidently impatiently waiting for my answer. But what was I most afraid of? Many things, to be honest. Snakes, narrow spaces, dying. The list went on and on, but what was I actually most afraid of? A heavy sigh left me. Deep down I already knew the answer. Saying it out loud was another thing entirely. “Okay… It’s going to sound stupid,” I warned. She only leaned forward in her chair and gave me an encouraging sign to continue. “It’s really dumb. I actually feel really bad about this being my greatest fear, considering what other people are going through. It’s really… It’s really embarrassing.” She only gave me another reassuring look. “Right now, this isn’t about other people. It’s about you.” Covering my face with my hands, I inhaled deeply. “I’m afraid I’ve chosen the wrong path in life. I’m afraid that I have wasted years and years studying for a degree I couldn’t care less about. I… I’m afraid that I’ve made the wrong decision, and now I’m stuck with it. I’m afraid… I’m afraid of my life. I’m afraid that my life will always be the way it is now, that it won’t change. And I just desperately want it to change.” As soon as I had said it, it felt like a heavy load was falling off my chest, dissolving into nothingness. I felt lighter. Freer. Somehow, I felt good and relieved. And when I drew my gaze back to Ava, I saw a sad but soft smile slowly spreading on her face. “That’s good.” “That’s good?” I repeated what she had said in confusion. “Yes. It’s understandable that you feel this way. But it’s a fear you can face. It’s a fear you can challenge. You’re not stuck. You can still change anything you don’t like about your life. You shouldn’t think of life as choosing paths. There are no multiple paths you can choose from. There is only one path, and you have to make it your own.” After that, silence stretched again between us. She was right, but I could dwell on that another time. “Alright. Now your turn,” I snapped us both out of our thoughts. “My what?” She cocked her head in confusion. “Your turn. I can’t really give you any dares, since well… you know. But today it’s about truths. Hit me with a truth yourself. You’ve asked me what I’m most afraid of. Now I’m curious. What are you most afraid of?” “Dying.”