But why is it so challenging for me to discover my passion? Is it so difficult just to know what I want and like? I believe a significant reason for this difficulty stems from family dynamics.
Going back to my early years, I was taught that my interests and desires do not matter. Every time I expressed them, it was met with disapproval or apathy. ”Does it make money?”, ”Focus on studying to make sure you get a high grade”- said my parents. That made me confused and think that those things were not important. The most important thing was that you perform well at school. This is common in my generation.
As we grew up, the surrounding adults predetermined for us a path, a field of study, that seemed ”suitable” for us. Because we are considered ‘knowing nothing, inexperienced, and foolish’ to choose. If we resisted, we would be considered disobedient, making our parents unhappy and, worse, labeled as an ungrateful child.
But why didn’t we stand up for our passion? Most children at my time did not dare to oppose. We would be considered bad children, going against our parents. After numerous objections without any result, we no longer want to resist. This is called Learned Helplessness – a defense mechanism. We just keep our desires hidden, and suppress them.
Moreover, when I reached high school, there weren’t many opportunities for us to explore our own passions. We went to school from morning until night and had almost no time to rest. We were supposed just to study rigorously to get into a ”good university”. (I don’t blame my parents. They were doing their best with numerous responsibilities and burdens to carry. They did their best, and I don’t hold them accountable. I just want to share the reality of what happened in my life and the lives of those in my generation.)
Recently, I had the opportunity to talk with high school students. They all had a very early awareness of finding their own passion and suitable job through many methods. Thanks to tarot, I could comfort them with words of encouragement when needed. I was very happy when they came back to thank me for their improved learning results and mental health. That makes me feel reassured because the younger generation is developing better than my generation.
© Quynh_Anh_di_Duc 2024-01-28