Chapter 7

Mom comes out of the florist shop shortly after: “There you were”, Mom says, looking at me relieved. As if she actually worried where I was. “I’ve been searching for you.” “I needed some air”, I answer. Mom flinches. I haven’t spoken in a while. I only nod mostly. Never speak. A bit of light appears in her eyes. I could almost see some of her worries fade away. “I heard what happened with Candice”, Mom says, sinking on the staircase next to me. I freeze, and just stare at something. At first, I stare at the street. And the coffee shop in front of us.

“They have the best pie here”, Justin says, leading me by my hand in front of the coffee shop. I have to chuckle. “Who knew? Justin van Dorsten, the ultimate pie lover”, I tease him. I remember how some months ago I had no clue what his last name is. Now it comes so familiar saying it out loud. Like I have always known it. A part of my heart’s language. He turns around and puts a finger on my mouth. “Don’t tell anyone else…”, he whispers to me. I nod sarcastically, still teasing him. “Why? Do you think your reputation might be ruined? It’s only pie”, I tell him. “It’s alright to love pie. Many do. Even the geniuses like you.” He rolls his eyes amused. I only continue. “Loving pie is normal. If you love-“ He stops me with a kiss, sealing my lips. “You know what I love?”, he asks me. I look at him, faking being confused. However, I really want to know.“You”, he answers. And kisses me again to prove it to me. I have to smile. When our mouths part, he quickly adds: “And pie.” “I knew it”, I let out laughing. He kisses me again.

“I’m not saying what you did was wrong, but next time, try to act a bit more polite. The poor girl did nothing wrong”, Mom says. I roll my eyes and want to stand up. She grabs my wrist as a sign I should sit down. I sigh and do as told. She adds: “I know this must be hard for you. You and Justin were pretty close, but-“ “No”, I interrupt her. She looks surprised. I only continue. “No. You don’t get to talk about him. You never liked him. I bet you are happy now…” “I am not”, she lets out convinced. “Look what it did to my daughter. You won’t talk to anyone, and when you do, you snap. You won’t come out of your room, you spend all your time crying, and you quit your job.” I did. I did do all the things she said. I just couldn’t find the motivation to work anymore after what happened. It should have been me. It were better if it were me who were in his place. Justin was so brilliant. He was so happy all the times. He was so nice to everybody. It should have been me. I don’t answer. I don’t know what to say. “Serena, you started drifting away ever since you came with him together. Nothing like the girl I knew”, she even dares say. “The girl you knew was never real. The girl you knew was only something you wanted. You. Not me. I never wanted any of it”, I shout. “Your father and I thought it would be what was best for you. Then he came”, Mom counters. I stand up. And this time as she grabs my hand, I set myself free of her touch. “Stop. Stop talking about him. Stop saying shit about him. Not when he is the reason I survived all those years. So just stop.” Mom remains silent. She is speechless. And I did that. That’s when a few workers of the florist shop come out with some bouquets of flowers. They are beautiful. Roses, irises, tulips…daisies. I freeze. So does Mom, who noticed the flowers as well. “Who ordered the bouquets?”, I ask her, my voice like cutting blades. She flinches before she swallows hard. “Your father.”