chapter eleven – emery

Over me, the night sky is pitch black. The only things illuminating us, are the moon and the millions and millions of stars over us. Admittedly, I absolutely loved driving around with Bea at night, and maybe it has taken some of the hate I have for the darkness, so coming here and watching the stars was actually my idea. Even before our late-night drive, the stars were the only part of the night that I found okay, maybe even liked.
“Hey, Em?” Bea breaks the silence we were in.
“Yeah?” I turn to lie on my side so that I am face-to-face with her.
“Remember how I told you about the Harry Styles concert I went to?” she asks.
“Of course, how could I forget?” I nudge her in the side with my elbow. It’s something I am very jealous of.
“You know, he said something that I’ll never forget”, she goes on. I can see the dreamy expression on her face that always appears when she thinks back to that day.
“What did he say?” I ask.
“He said “nobody here is alone”. And he was so right by saying that. Because no matter if you came there alone or with ten friends, you are not alone. Out there are so many people who are waiting to meet you and who will want to be your friend. And-and even if it feels like you are alone, you are not, I just want you to know that”, Bea ends.
I stay quiet, her words running around in my head. It’s still hard to admit it for me, but she – or rather Harry Styles -. is right. I couldn’t see it when I was standing on the bridge, but Bea has been a big part of why I don’t feel alone any more. In general, I don’t feel like the world is that bad of a place any more or that it’s bad to exist. I know that I still have to seek professional help so that those feelings and thoughts don’t come back. It’s something I’ve thought about the past few days and I think it will be a good first step.
“That’s true,” I say way too late for it to be a response to what she told me. “You know you’re the reason why I don’t feel alone any more, right?” I ask Bea.
She nods, tears gleaming in her eyes. “I know and if I made your life just a little bit better than it was before we met on the bridge, I know it was the right decision not to leave and look away that night”.
“You made my life better in the best way possible, and I am really grateful for that, B,” I tell Bea. I don’t know where all those heartfelt words are coming from, but I think Bea deserves to know how much she has helped me.
“I am really grateful for you too, Em. And even if you think I only helped you, you helped me as well,” Bea returns my words with a smile on her face. I pull her to my side and hug her tight. I hold her like I never want to let go of her. The girl I met on a bridge, with her starry night sky of freckles on her face. The girl who might have become my favourite human in a matter of weeks. The girl who saved me.