Chapter Sixteen – This Is Me

Olwethu Zibi

by Olwethu Zibi

Story
South Africa 1994 – 2023

My relationship didn’t work with Bianca, but I learned so much about myself, and I’ve grown as a person since then. I am now in a relationship with the most beautiful woman and hope that people would see us for us and not as some criminals needing to be crucified.

The hate in the world towards the people in the LGBT+ community isn’t as it was when I was 9 years old. Of course, it isn’t perfect because there are still those people who feel righteous, but it is better now. I can walk on the streets while holding my girlfriend’s hand and luckily not get snapped at.

In some other parts of Africa growing still needs to happen because they still arrest or kill lesbians and gay people, which really surprises me. If they really believe that we actually ‘decided’ to be gay or lesbian, don’t they think it would be easier to decide to be ‘straight’ in order to avoid being killed? Do they think people would rather die for something they could change? What would take for them to see that we can’t change who we are?

I always told my friends that if I were given a choice. If it was put in front of me, I’d choose to be straight, because it is better than living in fear that you might one day be a victim of someone who decided to take your life because of lack of information or because of their ‘belief’. It’s funny how this belief only works on certain things. It’s even funnier how my sin is lead by love.

Now we celebrate pride mostly to educate people who don’t know about the community so that we can make them understand that our feelings are as genuine as theirs for their loved ones. The only thing we need is acceptance and to be left alone so that we can live a free and safe life.

My parents are great and my mother has learned so much about the LGBT+ community since I came out. I wish everyone was open-minded like that instead of being so set in one mind only.

People should know that we are all different and therefore can never be the same. We don’t think the same, so why do they expect us to feel the same? The only way to live this life together would be to accept that not everyone will live their life the way you want, we all have a life to live, so let’s live ours respectfully.

But, to all the Homophobic people in the world, the love I get from my friends, my family and my girlfriend’s family is more than enough to keep me going. The hate you give will never take me back to my darkest place. I love myself as I am, and my God loves me the same.

I was raised in a society full of straight people. This is not a leant behavior, I was born the way I am, so I will not change for anyone or hide it anymore. This is me and I don’t need fixing because I am not broken. Let’s spread love, not hate.


© Olwethu Zibi 2023-08-10

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