Chapter X – Daredschan

Daredschan never saw herself as a priest. But Thinathin on the other hand who loves as if she worships gods could be what Daredschan never became. When Thinathin cries she never just cries for herself. She cries for everyone. She mourns for a lost world that was never there to begin with. She grieves over those treated unfairly and those without empathy. Daredschan lays her hand on Thinathin’s shoulder as she kneels in front of her. 
“What does Tariel always say? Nothing a cup of wine can’t fix? Hm?” Thinathin smiles again and rises to her feet. 
“Will you join me, friend? Or does your heart still want to brood into the stars?” 
“As always, sister. But don’t let it keep you. Your cup is empty.” She watched Thinathin for a moment returning to the mourners who by now resemble guests of a jolly feast. She could imagine Thinathin as a child, kneeling on grass, palms up towards the sky and encircled by gateless walls. She could imagine herself in that position through many days of scorching sun, rain or snowfall. With unsteady seasons and unreliable weather, she would kneel there with a stable heart and unshakable knees until she heard the voice of her ancestors that deliver her from her trial, to be anointed a priest. 
“My mother used to look up into the sky like that.” Daredschan is startled which seems not to be noticed by Shorena who stood herself beside her looking up at the same stars.
“She taught me to do this whenever I need to think.” Daredschan formed the words in her mouth before saying them, still fearing her response to be too slow, she needed to take a break to form the rest, expecting Shorena to take over, but it was like she could sense that Daredschan was planning on saying more, so she waited patiently still looking up at the sky.
“Whenever the walls seem to close in on you. The stars will remind you. Of the vastness out there.” 
“You just need to take care not to get scared of that in turn.” The two women for the first time turn to each other and smile. Again Daredschan feels Shorena’s patience, and she almost has to laugh at how similar it feels to the times she talked to her mother. Not the kind of demanding patience but the kind that does not force or induce her with more nervousness. Daredschan feels like she has a choice. To say nothing or anything. Either way the stars would wait. So she prepares her sentence. 
“It feels good to be back here.” 
“I’m glad to have the three of you here. My mother relied on you and I would like to be granted the same privilege.” Daredschan is suddenly robbed of that feeling of endless patience as Shorena invites her to join her for a cup of wine in the knight’s hall and since Daredschan does not feel like declining her, she follows.