Cursed existence.

lou b

by lou b

Story

>>”Wha-” the few steps taken backwards to try and escape proved her literal downfall as she plummeted down the cliff. Her last thought was to curse out his existence, wishing to never have met him.<<

Nico looked up from his phone, already moving his thumb to the kudos button. “Man, catl0ver91 really has a way with words! But man, this fandom is so allergic to happiness..”

In the dark of his room, his face only illuminated by the glow of his phone, his green eyes suddenly filled with tears.

What? Why am I crying? That’s so pathetic.”

No reason came to mind. Yes, of course, his day had been filled with small inconveniences, such as his binder feeling wrong or the comment his coworker made on his food choice, but that was no reason to cry.

Curling in on himself, he started laughing at the absurdity of it all. A few minor bumps on an otherwise okay day, and he was crying? No wonder his friends always got quiet around him, he couldn’t even handle a bit of stress.

The boy got up abruptly, his hand already having turned on the flashlight of his phone, the other searching for a specific item.

The blade was small and cool against his slightly sweaty palms. Small stains of dried blood telling the story of lost fights before. “Ew, I really should get new ones.. But better this than nothing.”

As he sat on the cold tiled floor of his room, he reached for the toilet paper roll and hand sanitizer, half hidden from view.

At first, he rolled his shorts up, placing a new cut there. When this did little to soothe his unruly mind, he decided his left arm was a much better place.

Digging deeper into his skin, new tears formed, not from the physical pain, but from the exhaustion of the mental one. He didn’t want this to happen. He dug deeper.

Nico shouldn’t be dealing with thoughts haunting him, that all he needed to do, was take the pills he bought over the span of weeks, accumulated in a small tupperware container, and he would never feel like that again.

He dug deeper. He was not afraid of dying, he was afraid of forever living like this. Never being a real man, always being scared of food, yet craving it so badly it caused him to break down. He was never going to be able to live a carefree life.

Why should he bother living at all?

A new sensation made him look down, blood staining the tiles. He was truly disgusted with himself, quickly dressing the wound and cleaning up his mess.

10 minutes later, he was laughing and smiling at his phone again, wondering quietly if he was truly disordered or just an attention seeker.

© lou b 2024-08-07

Genres
Novels & Stories
Moods
Dark
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