eight

Castor runs to get out of this situation. He passes a lot of students and makes his way to his favourite place at this school, the astronomy tower. Short, loud breaths, head dizzy and weak legs, that’s the state Castor is in when he gets to the top.

Whenever he gets up here, he needs a second to gather himself, but once he does, it is the most beautiful place in this castle, even during the day, when you can’t see the stars.

Castor is a high achiever, but lately he skips more classes than his younger self would’ve allowed. He’s tired, in any way possible. The boy isn’t surprised about that feeling, it occurs more often than he would admit, so he hides up here. The view Castor has over the whole grounds makes him want to fly over it.

After contemplating this idea for a while he gets up and climbs on the window. His feet now dangling from the building. It’s nothing new to the young boy, because he does that every now and then. Every time it’s the same question repeating in his head:
‘Should I?’
A horrible back and forth which always ends with a simple ‘no’ as an answer. But not this time. Instead, Castor gets up and pushes his feet closer to the edge. The wind suddenly seemed to become stronger, almost as if it was trying to push Castor to the ground. That was it. The moment the young Black realises that the whole world is against him.

“When you’re born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire…”, Castor thinks and laughs to himself. He indeed was born in a burning house, maybe it has already burnt down, and he was still holding onto a pack of matches, as if he was ready to light it all up again. Then the young foolish boy decides: He will.

Castor holds onto the wall next to him and comes even closer to the edge. The tips of his black uniform shoes beyond the wall. He remembers, that he never said goodbye to any of his friends. But then again, was he closer to death than he was close to his friends, which fairly wasn’t hard to beat. He always kept a distance to everyone. Still this thought makes him hesitate, but he keeps a firm grip on the wall. Castor’s head keeps spinning, only going faster. He’s torn between his choices, that’s when he hears it, people running up the tower. Castor gets off of the Window and sits back down. Back against the wall, legs to his chest and his head between his knees, fighting the tears. No one is supposed to get here, not at this time, not in such a rush.

“Cas-“, Jasper yells coming in, followed by Polaris, gasping for air.

Castor’s head snaps up, as he was not prepared to hear Jasper’s voice. Now he looks towards two boys, who hold more concern in their faces, than most adults are capable of. He knows the boys, yet the concern makes them seem unrecognisable. Castor is taken aback by the situation, he doesn’t see how both Jasper and Polaris are walking towards him, until Polaris touches his shoulder. He flinches, which almost made the older brother pull his hand away, but he left it where it was