eleven

You did enough already

broke my heart into pieces and instead of

gluing them back together

you said its my fault for even having a heart

all my life i thought

there’s something brighter

when you become older

but nothing changed

i feel guilty for even catching a breath

am i mad?

years of abuse

madness is inevitable 

sadness is consuming me again

sleepless nights

they pile up now

insanity is in the details

i can never forget 

at night it’s killing me

looking at me from the shadows

of my leaving door

i want to forget

the rain washes away 

all the layers of dust

accumulating on my heart

forever is an eternal dream 

turned into reality 

sitting in the forest

and the only thing on my mind

is that i want to die

not the first time

not the strongest i’ve felt it