Envy – the gods most beloved virtue

Sometimes I wonder whether gods actually envy us. In literature and – well – tik toks people always make us believe that through the fact of being a mortal we experience this world with more gratitude and enjoy moments more because it could always be our last.

But I don’t think so. Alone the imagination of being immortal lets me shiver with excitement. I think I could appreciate my life way more if I knew I had the time to do so.

How could I fully appreciate a day of doing nothing, of staring at the sky, of plainly thinking, or not thinking, a day of just existing in its purest form if I know that my days are limited on this earth? If I know that at some point in time I could just fall over and die.

‘Shouldn’t I spend that limited time of mine by doing something meaningful, by being productive?’ Are the thoughts that go through my head. Which leaves me continuously on edge, comparing myself to others, questioning whether I live my life to the fullest.

If I had more time I could travel more, travel longer, take my time to take a closer look, or two, or three, I could appreciate the insignificant yet comforting moments in life more. Like sitting on a chair in the kitchen, watching the rain pour down – like a river had just opened its waters above you – while drinking a hot cup of tea. Or sitting in your bed late at night with only your screen as a light source, writing some absolute bullshit fan fic. Or simply laying on a couch with your sister, talking about gods and the multiverse.

I envy gods. They have time. They have the resources. They have – well – everything, they are gods after all. And I wouldn’t have to be a powerful god, the god of hot air would be good enough for me. All I want is more time and an invincible body.

I envy many things. I envy most people in some way or another. I mostly envy looks and virtues like determination or human handling skills. And I like to be envious. Being envious shows me that I want certain traits so much that I could even dislike people for having them while I don’t. But the envy I feel towards gods, towards their immortality is too extreme, even for me. It eats me up alive that someone can just live however long they want. That they don’t have to think about the future. That they could just lay down on a cloud for many many years, drift off into a deep slumber, and even when they wake up after hundreds of years they still have enough time to do whatever they desire. Because their stay in this multi-/universe is infinite. They are infinite. Their being will never be extinct, forever to wander this earth. What a truly marvellous trait to be envious of.