Express Delivery

Being a mum is something I have always longed for. I knew I’d be a good mum. But when I fell pregnant with my firstborn I was scared to say the least. I questioned everything I’d ever thought about myself. Let’s face it, keeping a tiny human alive successfully is a whole different kind of pressure. I was scared I’d not be good enough, and the connection between mother and child wouldn’t shine through. Well, I was wrong.

Before delivery, I was still at university and still working. I was beyond busy trying to maintain my personal and professional goals as well as getting ready to new mum. I was 35 weeks pregnant, my exams were a semester away, and I had 1 week until my maternity leave started.

Life didn’t go to plan, just like it never seems too. I had reduced movement and went to get little man checked out. He was fine, perfect. I however had severe preeclampsia and my body was slowly shutting down. I felt completely fine, so it was a huge shock. I had been told by the Midwife on shift I was going for a scan when it opened at 8am to see if he was breech and if not I’d be induced. So I settled in for the night mentally preparing for an early birth. Approximately 45 minutes later, a health professional rushed into my room looking panicked.

“Our on call Supervisor has advised us we need to perform an emergency c section right now.”

That’s exactly what happened. I was very quickly prepared for surgery and my partner asked if anything went wrong who were they to save right in front of me. Not that it shouldn’t of been my decision. I most certainly had the mental capacity to do so.

Being rolled into theatre was daunting to say the least. The smell of hospitals is strong, the sterile atmosphere matched with plain white walls and bright lights. It adds to the overall experience, piling on the anxiety. Throughout the procedure I continued to panic. I cried and cried and cried. I had no idea why was going on, if our baby was okay. The feeling of someone’s arms being inside your stomach isn’t a great one. The pressure you feel is very uncomfortable. Thankfully I didn’t feel any pain. The spinal block most definitely worked. However, having a grown adult rummaging around feels as though they are washing the dishes, and it is somewhat strange.

Once he was pulled from me, I waited anxiously. Waiting to hear him scream. It felt like an eternity, as if it were never coming. The whole world closed in on me, lights getting brighter. I could hear the surgical team mumbling between each other. What were they saying? Was everything okay? Was he alive? Was I okay?
Thankfully I was fine, blood loss minimal, and he let loose, he had a great set of lungs on him. It echoed through the room, but was music to my ears. He was laid on my chest as they stitched me together. He was so tiny, weighing 3lb 14oz. He was tall, yet very slim and wrinkly. He was perfect, our beautiful baby boy.