by Em Vy
It was four in the morning when we decided to go home. I was very drunk, and I think Ben, Austin and Becs were as well. We said our goodbyes, “See you guys tomorrow at the meeting. It was so nice with ya!” Austin said. We shared a few hugs and kisses. Ben walked me home. After partying, the nights always turn too quiet and mellow. Asbury Avenue was full of drunks, stoners and queers at that time. As scary as it might sound, but this was freedom. We left Asbury Ave behind us and walked to our neighborhood. “I know you like Austin.” “You know me, Hunter. I can’t help it but those fucking twinks. They get to me.” Ben chuckled. “But he’s so nice, Ben. Can you try and not be horny once? You gay people, man.”, I shook my head disapprovingly and poking his stomach. He was wearing a cropped top. “You’re such a homophobic homo, Hunter.” A black car was rolling down its windows and a middle-aged guy was shouting “Fags, you fags will die!” He spat out the window. “Fuck you!” I shouted back, but the car was already driving off. Ben started to giggle, “Just as I said, how homophobic you were.”
Welcome to our neighborhood, the most conservative and homophobic pricks live here. Including my family. The priest, the Christian family, the role models, if they only knew that I am what the bible would call an abomination. Ben’s apartment was a few blocks away from here, but he never gave a damn about this neighborhood. He was, to be frank, the queen of everything. Nothing could somehow touch him. “Bye, Love you, Happy Birthday. Get some sleep.” Ben gave me a kiss. “You, too.”
I sneaked through the backdoor and went into my room. Luckily, everyone was asleep. If anyone knew, I’d be screwed. No one should know, it’s none of my family’s business. Honestly, I am ready to move out and never see them again if I have to, but I still love them. I know my parents love me, at least the part of me they know. I know how to present myself, or should I say how to hide myself? I looked into the mirror. Dirty blond hair, blue-eyed, and it was not difficult to pass as what my parents call “normal”. I’d rather hide my colorful clothes, cut my hair short and, thus, I love Ben for being so incredibly open. But nonetheless, I am not who I want to be, if I even know who I want to be. Because as much confidence as I have with Ben at a club at night. Nothing would be left in the morning and I would be the shy, quiet and perfect child of the priest. A loyal and good Catholic Christian, I suppose. A normal senior in high-school with a 1500 SAT score and no friends. Hunter Taylor, the Christian, the writer, teacher’s favorite, the nerd. That’s who I am. That’s who I’ve always been. So what is even the secret? I can just stay the way I am, miserable as always.
© Em Vy 2024-07-19