First Impressions, Second Chances

When a Greylag goose is born, meaning: when she breaks her eggshell open and steps out into the world, she follows a simple pattern: whatever moving object she first sets her eyes on, she will identify as her mother. No matter whether this moving thing is a goose, a human being or … a soccer ball.

This phenomenon in the world of animal behavior is called imprinting: The first impression leads to a programmed decision and reaction. Baby Goose is programmed to act like this.

Which brings me to human beings. When you and I meet for the first time, it takes us three seconds. Three seconds, also known as first impression. Within three seconds, we form an opinion about each other. A judgment. We are programmed to do so. This first impression will have a lasting effect and define our future relationship. If there is going to be any. There is no second chance for a first impression. So, it better be good. Right?

Which brings me to space. Now guess: Who is the most important person that will ever enter through your entrance door? No, it’s not your friends. Not your boss, business partners, clients or neighbors. Or your in-laws. – It is you! When you open your entrance door, what you see is: you. So, what do you see? Do you like what you see? Does your home open its arms wide to welcome you? Or do you stumble across a mountain of shoes? Does it smell nice? Or does a garbage bag greet you, waiting to be disposed of? Is there space for your coats and shopping bags? Or is your wardrobe overflowing with winter coats in the midst of summer? Is there generous, easily accessible lighting for you to see everything? Are the colors pleasing to your eye? … and so on. What you see is you. This is good news. Why? Because you are the master and commander of your space. You can change what you don’t like. Not to impress someone else, but to take good care of yourself.

In a study by psychologist Samuel Gosling at the University of Texas in 2015, Gosling’s students were shown the homes of strangers. They were asked to describe the homeowners’ personalities and careers as precisely as they could. Their only source of information was the home of the unknown person. It turned out that the accuracy of the students’ conclusions about total strangers was absolutely striking.

Who is the person that you “see” when you enter your space? Remember: Home is where you have the most control over your life. Home can bring you down, or it can empower and nurture you. It is never a question of budget or style. It simply means: be selective about surrounding objects (and people, by the way). If anything feels uncomfortable or boring, is broken beyond repair, ugly or chaotic, if it evokes bad memories or does not feel authentically you: do something about it. Give your own “first impression” a second chance. At your own speed! One object at a time is good enough for a start. Don’t stress yourself out. Home is patient. Uplift yourself, step by step. You deserve the best first impression that you can possibly get. And you always deserve a second chance. As long as you are alive, your home provides a limitless supply of second chances for you.

Step #1 = LOOK AROUND