Freeze response

We learn that whenever danger occurs, there are two types of responses any living creature can react to it. The fight response answers with rage and reckless fury. The flight response makes us run far and fast. But there is one more type…

What happens when there is nowhere to run? What can we do if we cannot run because our legs are too sick to move at all? What if there is no room for a fight? …or nothing comes to our mind to fight for because our life seems to be of so little meaning? Unworthy to fight for, too wrong to be fought right. Then there is this third type, the freeze response.

The freeze response makes our eyes snow-blind, closes them, and we hope, whenever it might be, that we open our eyes again, the danger will be over. Will we ever get the chance to open them ever again? Our heart stops for a moment in time. Long enough to make it transform into a solid rock of ice. While we hope that it won’t blast into a million fragments, we ask ourselves if there will be sun to thaw our heart ever again? Will enough warmth return in our little lifetimes? Are we ever going to be fine again?

So there we are facing the danger with blind eyes and a cold heart. Mute and motionless. Fragile and frightened. But danger strongly strikes, relentlessly reaching for the last hopeful hint of breath that is holding on in our lungs, unwilling to make us give up despite our frozen body. We pray that this small chance of happiness remains unseen, awaiting the sun, afraid to let it show, for it can not be destroyed as long as it can not be found. We feel that slowly, but surely, we become translucent for anyone and everyone. Invisibility lays a protecting cloak around us. A shelter for our heavy shoulders, shielding us from times and places, hurts and hopes.

But like snowflakes, we keep falling. Silent and searching. Unable to settle, unable to trust that the sun will finally reach us, find us invisible that we are. Feeling insecure though we are sheltered and shielded.

Or with the winter storming in, we fall asleep. First it is a loud sleep. Nightmares shout like voices in our heads, screams arise for help and hope. Nothing ment to hear, nor to understand. But then, when all is said and done, when everything that can be endured is more than we can master, a prayer for peace will make it come to an end. In the calm after the storm, we find small glimpses of sunlight making the snow shimmer and shine. Then we hear ice crack.