Good News and Bad News

“Urgh… Ouch.”

“Ah hello, welcome back to the land of the living. You’ve been out cold for what, about 3 to 4 days now?”

“Emily? Where are we? What happened?”

“Well…, considering everything that happened. Ahem. I have good news and bad news…”

“Considering that I feel like someone pulled out my insides, put them in a blender, and then shoved them back in, you might as well just give me the bad news.”

“Well… Our shuttle got shot down by some automated air defence systems. Our squad leader got unfortunately eaten by some radioactive alligators. You tried to talk to someone who turned out to be a crazy survivor and ate a shotgun slug. We discovered that the entire planet was lost multiple planetary rotations ago and has been overrun for some time by a horde of flesh eating monsters. The city we crashed is in the domain of some weird religious cult. We were forced to seek shelter and are now hold up in this abandoned building, while we try to figure out how we’re going to survive the next few days, much less how we’re going to get off this god forsaken planet again… Oh, and we are also low on medical supplies, ammo and technical equipment. We only have a few days worth of food and water, and your under-suit is badly damaged and only operating at minimal power levels. Additionally, girl you lost like a ton of blood…”

“Alright! I get it. I thought you said there was good news?!”

“There is! It turns out the human body can survive with only one lung and one kidney…, so we got that going for us…, which is neat.”