Good resolutions with no future

I familiarise myself with music that I don’t know. That helps me to focus. A music that is also a symbol of a city, the one where I accidentally ended up.

It was like crossing a membrane. I became familiar with things I didn’t know, but which nevertheless seem familiar.

I haven’t had much time to think about the changes of the last few weeks and months.

I am still unable to place my past life in Senegal. It all seems distant to me, emotionally distant. As if life there had been skimmed over, without creating a bridge of contact.

Yet even that stage has left its mark.

But my upcoming birthday will also be celebrated in a new setting. I am living in this present or these moments of the present. A new life that builds itself, brick by brick. Automatically inserted.

My room has not yet been personalised. I haven’t explored Berlin yet. I still wonder how this space will look to me, although sooner or later this question will find its own answer.

An open, multifaceted city, although with its own predominant identity (or maybe this is also a matter of imagination).

So far, it has struck me that all the people I have met use drugs. I hope I don’t also find myself in the situation of accepting simply because the situation demands it / urges me to do so.

I don’t want to make a list of things to do, although a couple are already more or less on the waiting list.

Gym, German, theatre, meetups, tandem, strange philosophy circles – I’m just jotting them down to see if they will become good resolutions with no future.

Over the last years, I have changed directions, like a ping-pong ball.

Now I am in Berlin, with a job I found before I set foot in the city and a roof that didn’t cost me any effort to find.

By chance, they both found me.