Henry

After talking to her on the phone, I asked Emma to meet her today in the place where we first said, I love you. Today everything felt heavier, maybe because of the truth I was about to share. Emma smiled as she came closer, “Hey,” she said softly.

My heart was hurting as I looked at her. She was everything I could have asked for. She was my angel. The person who made me believe in love again. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t change the one thing that haunted me: I was still in love with someone else.

“Emma, we need to talk,” I began.

“What is it, Henry?” Her voice was already sad, and filled with fear.

I took a deep breath, building the courage to say what I had been avoiding for so much time now. “I… I care about you so much, Emma. You’ve been amazing to me, and I don’t want to hurt you. But I’ve been lying to myself and to you.”

She takes a step back. “Henry, what are you trying to say?”

I could see the pain beginning, and it nearly broke me. But I knew that the longer I kept this from her, the more it would hurt us both. “I’m still in love with Muse,” I tell her, my voice almost at the level of a whisper. “I thought I was over her, I really did. But every time I’m with you, I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s not fair to you.

Emma is this strong woman who never lets herself down. Although her eyes were almost teary she said “So… all this time, you were just thinking about her? Was I just a distraction for you?”

“No, no, it wasn’t like that,” I said, my own eyes filled with tears. “You were never just a distraction. I wanted to love you the way you deserve, but I couldn’t. And I’m so sorry for leading you onto this, for not being honest sooner.”

Emma wrapped her arms around herself, as if trying to hug herself away from the pain. “Why didn’t you tell me before? Why did you let it go this far if you knew how you felt?”

“Because I didn’t want it to be true”. I wanted so badly to move on.

“I reached out, wanting to comfort her, but she stepped back, shaking her head.

“Don’t, Henry. Please.” She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, trying to keep herself together. “I loved you, Henry,” she said. “I still do, but I don’t deserve this.”

“I know,” I never wanted to hurt you.”

Before leaving, she turns around and tells me “Henry, heal from your past, or you’ll bleed on those who didn’t cut you”

And God knows how that made me feel, but she was right. She was right.