Every start of summer, the first day I get to go to the beach feels like a sacred ritual.As I step onto the warm sand, the sandy breeze wraps around me like an old friend.I walk toward the sea, my heart racing with anticipation. ItĀ“s a moment I cherish-the moment I meet the sea again.I stand at the water edge, where the waves kiss the shore, and I begin to share my stories.I tell the sea about the past year, recounting all the moments that shaped me, the laughter, the tears, and the unexpected turns life took.Each wave seems to listen intently, carrying my words away into the vastness of its depths.
But this year was different.Instead of waiting for summer, I found myself drawn to the sea on February 18th.That morning, as I opened the messages on my phone, It felt as If a tidal wave of reality crashed into my mind.It was as If the universe had conspired to deliver a harsh truth, one that I wasnĀ“t prepared to face.As I scrolled through, my heart raced, and a cold sweat broke out on my forehead.The lightness of the morning faded, replaced by a heavy weight pressing down my chest.I sat there, frozen, my mind racing as I tried to comprehend the reality unfolding before me.I was suddenly aware of the fragility of life, the delicate balance that could tip at any moment, and I felt utterly powerless.That morning marked the beginning of a new chapter-one filled with uncertainty and heartache…You were taken from this world too soon angel…I began to see the world through a different lens, you taught me that life is not just about the big milestones but also the small, fleeting moments that shape who we are. I wish you were here, sitting beside me, telling me that everything is going to be alright.Your voice always had a way of wrapping me in comfort, instilling hope when I felt lost.Yet I realize that even if God stood in front of us, explaining the reasons behind it all, IĀ“m not sure we would accept it.It feels like I am living in a dream that I canĀ“t wait for someone to wake me up.ItĀ“s all because we think that It is easier to drift through life, pretending that everything is fine, than to confront the truths that weigh heavily on our hearts.I created a bubble where I could escape the chaos, but with every passing moment, I realized that the longer I stayed in this dream, the harder it became to face the world outside.Acceptance felt like a distant shore, just out of reach, and I wondered if I would ever be brave enough to swim towards it.Each day blurres into the next, a haze of confusion and uncertainty.I tell myself that it is just a phase, a temporary state of mind that I can shake off.But deep down I know I am fooling myself.Would some sorrows hurt less, and would some challenges be easier with you by my side?What is the price we pay for the loss of another person?But I realized that the best teacher is life.It teaches you that you can endure much longer after you think you canĀ“t anymore.Even though we canĀ“t realize the plans we have meticulously laid out, thereĀ“s an undeniable truth that settles heavily in our hearts;now,itĀ“s too late for everything..And now we cling to our grief, wanting answers that may never come.I search for hope in the memories we all created together, hoping that one day, IĀ“ll find peace in the chaos of my heart.
Ā© Vanessa Smajlaj 2024-12-02