by Anaïs
There is no way to put into words what this country has taught me. It was never black and white. I can’t really say that I “had a good time”, like an Aussie would after spending 3 weeks completely wasted in Bali. I was bored and excited and tired and lazy and incredibly restless, I was in love and made new friends and felt awesome and alive and sometimes, I was sad for no reason.
It is the same with every foreign experience, and yet Indonesia was so different to my other travels. Being able to speak the language a little brings you so much closer to the locals here, changes completely the way you are treated or looked at. It was nice to not be a backpacker for once, someone who passes through to see places but all too often doesn’t really care about the residents and what they think about you.
Studying and living here, we were lucky enough to actually get to know the culture and the Indonesian way of life, to accept annoying things about regulations and peoples mind-sets as well as get accepted for our stuck up German-ness in return. Working with the NGO Project Child has made me realize things about poverty, in Yogyakarta and in general, that I could have never imagined. Therefore, I was grateful to have had the opportunity to be part of this small, defiant movement of change.
In the end, there are no regrets. Except maybe that I would have loved to turn into a meditating monk for at least five weeks at a hidden monestery in Bali, which unfortunately I didn’t have time for. Because for once, I chose love over my own peace of mind, and Karma made me pay for that. So now, one day before I leave Kuta (I hate this place. It’s by far my least favourite place over here), I don’t feel the usual depression about returning back home. I am done with this soulmate thing, and it has left me feeling a little lonely. Sad, even. I am missing my pals back home. The cheap and easy drinks. My family. I missed out on the birth of a new little human in the family and everything that happened to her since.
Sure, home won’t only be great. I am leaving the dream island to go back to the cold and the snow and also to a 9 to 5 job at the office. But I guess this is just the new thing that I do now. Because it is the time for it. I did have my fair share of chilling, surfing and beaches. I have made memories that I will remember forever. At the end of the day, it’s not what you do for a living but the way you do it, and the attitude you do it with. If you have to do boring shit because you need the money, just don’t let what you do define you. I am sure the company where I start would be honoured to hear that.
© Anaïs 2021-03-05