“You choose who you want to be”
That’s what they said to me
So I never asked for anything
Gave my best until I’d win
Never too patient, never too lazy
But now I feel, so I guess I went crazy
Because I feel and I feel
But I never seem to heal
As I grow up and get older
While this house has never felt colder
Because I never asked you why
Never asked you to try
Never too patient, never too wild
You thought I didn’t notice, because I was a child
But I heard the screams
Still do and know what it means
I never asked you for anything
Because in this house there is no king
No one to protect us, no one to save us
So I grew up without the trust
Of having my family behind me
And always remind me
How loved I am
Because “Love” is a foreign concept in this home
What do I have siblings for, if they leave me alone
Between the yelling and the fighting
Of two people who are hiding
The fact that they can never love again like they used to
But I am the fool, because I am the one who
Had to grow up and build a heart out of steel
But it didn’t work, because now I feel
© Selima Chowdhury 2023-02-16