I feel

Selima Chowdhury

by Selima Chowdhury

Story

“You choose who you want to be”

That’s what they said to me

So I never asked for anything

Gave my best until I’d win

Never too patient, never too lazy

But now I feel, so I guess I went crazy

Because I feel and I feel

But I never seem to heal

As I grow up and get older

While this house has never felt colder

Because I never asked you why

Never asked you to try

Never too patient, never too wild

You thought I didn’t notice, because I was a child

But I heard the screams

Still do and know what it means

I never asked you for anything

Because in this house there is no king

No one to protect us, no one to save us

So I grew up without the trust

Of having my family behind me

And always remind me

How loved I am

Because “Love” is a foreign concept in this home

What do I have siblings for, if they leave me alone

Between the yelling and the fighting

Of two people who are hiding

The fact that they can never love again like they used to

But I am the fool, because I am the one who

Had to grow up and build a heart out of steel

But it didn’t work, because now I feel

© Selima Chowdhury 2023-02-16

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