Is Billie Better than me?

Victoria Buling

by Victoria Buling

Story

Watching Billie Eilish’s new music video, I lose myself in my head.

Is Billie better than me?

I remember admiring her when she first got famous.

She was only sixteen years old.

How is that possible?

Sixteen, and already world-famous.

I can’t remember anything significant I did when I was sixteen.

I went to school. Fell in love. Got my heart broken. Fell in love again.

That’s about it. Nothing life-changing.

But then there are people like Billie who are more successful at sixteen than I’ll probably ever be.

Is Billie better than me?

Talking to others, I am often told that they like my company, that it’s nice having me around.

That I have a nice personality, that I’m always there for others and that they’re glad I exist.

Is that significant or is Billie better than me?

I’ll never forget being told that I changed people’s lives for the better.

It feels significant, even if it’s just one person’s life that I changed.

It feels significant, even if compared to Billie, that is nothing.

Maybe I don’t need to be on a million posters, in every other news article and known by every human being.

Maybe after all, Billie isn’t better than me.


© Victoria Buling 2023-07-17

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