Watching Billie Eilish’s new music video, I lose myself in my head.
Is Billie better than me?
I remember admiring her when she first got famous.
She was only sixteen years old.
How is that possible?
Sixteen, and already world-famous.
I can’t remember anything significant I did when I was sixteen.
I went to school. Fell in love. Got my heart broken. Fell in love again.
That’s about it. Nothing life-changing.
But then there are people like Billie who are more successful at sixteen than I’ll probably ever be.
Is Billie better than me?
Talking to others, I am often told that they like my company, that it’s nice having me around.
That I have a nice personality, that I’m always there for others and that they’re glad I exist.
Is that significant or is Billie better than me?
I’ll never forget being told that I changed people’s lives for the better.
It feels significant, even if it’s just one person’s life that I changed.
It feels significant, even if compared to Billie, that is nothing.
Maybe I don’t need to be on a million posters, in every other news article and known by every human being.
Maybe after all, Billie isn’t better than me.
© Victoria Buling 2023-07-17