by Rebekka
Once again, I’m lying in my bed crying because the person who’s supposed to love me most, the person who brought me into this world, told me that I’m a fat waste of space. I fell asleep like that and in the morning when I went to school and smiled, laughed and pretended that I didn’t have cuts and bruises all over my body. I asked myself, is this how it’s supposed to be? Am I meant to act like everything is fine? Is this life? Because if it is, then I don’t want it. As I was buried in my thoughts, I bumped into something hard. I looked up and saw the person who had made sure that not only my home life was shit, but my school life as well. He looked at me and I saw something strange in his eyes. It was worry. And I thought that maybe he would be the first person in my whole life to notice that something was wrong with me. When he asked me if I was okay, I brushed it off, said I’m fine and wanted to walk away. But suddenly he grabbed my wrist and I flinched. The next thing I noticed was that he had pulled me by my waist into an empty classroom. I was too shocked to speak when he demanded to know what was wrong. When I finally found my voice again, I told him that it’s none of his business and that he should leave me alone. After school, I went home, but the second I opened the door I felt that something was wrong. I walked into the house and that was when I figured it out. It was the smell. It smelled like alcohol. I called for my mom and when she came downstairs she had a glass of whiskey in her hand. She was clearly drunk and when she saw me she threw the glass across the room and it shattered on the wall a few centimetres from my face. I didn’t see her coming when she raised her hand and slapped me across the face. I wasn’t prepared for the impact so I fell to the ground. That’s when it began. She was kicking me, my stomach, my legs, my face. When I started tasting blood, I realized that I had to get out of there. I got up and tried not to break down or lose consciousness on the spot. I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t know where, I didn’t know how long. I just ran. Somehow, my legs brought me to his house. I stood in front of the door for about five minutes, but then I noticed that if I didn’t want to pass out and fall onto the hard ground, I had to ring the doorbell. After a few seconds, he opened the door and the confusion on his face changed to worry. He wanted to ask me something but everything around me became blurry and I was falling. I was braced for the hard impact of the stone floor, but it never came. Instead, I felt two strong arms catch me and carry me inside. The last thing I heard before everything turned black was him saying: “ it’s okay, I’ve got you love.”
© Rebekka 2022-03-19