Lady in red – First Love – Anxiety

Lady in red

First, I am the lady in red. Secondly, I’m dating myself. There’s nobody to impress but me in this world. There’s nobody else I must explain something about myself to; nobody I must touch but myself. Nobody I must explain my regrets to but myself, nobody I must feel ashamed of but myself. I feel no shame at all of myself, so there’s no shame left in my world.

I can feel proud of myself; there’s nobody but myself to explain these thoughts to. I must care about myself, so that’s what I mean by having no shame. I won’t let myself feel ashamed for caring about myself first. So why should I let myself be ashamed of others or let them control my thoughts just because I think they think I should feel ashamed?

First Love

Become the person you want to date. A person you would like to date. Start loving yourself first. Be your first love, so you can always fall back to your first love and haven’t lost yourself in the process of loving somebody new.

Anxiety

The pressure to feel good, to make the most of your time, is like sitting inside and just waiting for things to be as they’re supposed to be.

You want to be free from pain, the physical kind that so many people endure. You wish to be flexible, unburdened, and free from excessive responsibilities. But deep inside, there’s still fear.

All these things weigh on you. The fear of doing something wrong, or that everything you do is wrong, leaves you feeling terrible, yet you can’t stop doing it.

You want to understand what to do and what not to do, and there’s so much excitement within you, waiting to be released.

Is there a way to touch that? To do things differently? Can you live a life without anxiety, and if so, what would it look like? How would it feel?

Nothing to return to

When I leave, there is nothing to come back to. No such thing I want to come back to. Maybe that is what is holding me back. The moment I leave – I have no home any more.