Dear younger me,
I don’t know how old you are and what you are doing right now, but I know you need me. It is me, from the future. I am turning 26 in a week and wanted to reach out. You might think of me as your older and wiser version. Let me tell you a secret—grown-ups often don’t have the slightest clue what they are doing either, me including. I try though. Sometimes I manage and sometimes I am stuck in the trying stage. Nevertheless, I wanted to give you some advice and since it is your future self, you better pay close attention, my darling.
Hug your grandparents. Take the picture. Wear that bikini. Paint your lips the boldest shade of red. Write. Go abroad. Leave, return and leave again. Love and worry a little less about being loved in return. Pet all the dogs but beforehand ask the owner, whether you can. Exercise for the joy and not because you want to lose weight. Don’t be embarrassed that you are the only one ordering dessert.
You will make mistakes and you will survive. You will even have your first kiss and won’t remember it, because you were a tad too tipsy. It might happen a bit later than for your peers, but seriously now – a few years later – you couldn’t care less.
Oh yes, that boy you had a crush on? He told his friend and they laughed about you. I know it hurts, but let me assure you, my darling, it does not mean that you are less lovable. You are beautiful, inside and out, and the last person on this planet who can decide otherwise is a silly boy.
Yes, bad things will happen. And it is not your fault that they happen. But it is up to you how you react. Not everything is your fault, I promise you that, even if it feels like it. Some people try their best, and it still isn’t what you need. Let them go. Some people are mean and will hurt you just because they can. Run from them and never look back.
When you are younger, certainty feels like safety, but it is not. The only certainty you get is that I will be with you even on your darkest days and that is more than enough to survive all of them.
As for what happens after now, I still have no clue. You may one day write your New York-Times-Bestseller. You may become a wedding planner or open a coffee shop. You could buy a cow, name her Berta and live happily ever after on a farm in the Austrian Alps. You may do all of that or something completely different. And even though this ocean of possibility might scare you, my dear, I have found my peace. After all, it is a beautiful thing that we can choose daily how and with whom we will spend this one life.
Forever and always by your side,
Your future self
PS. Never lose hope. Your silly stupid beautiful hope.
© Evita Ločmele 2023-08-29