Letter for my dream girl

“Get some rest, dear. You look awfully tired.” He spoke swiftly and I nodded. Yes, I was looking tired, and feeling the same way. I closed the door and locked myself in my bedroom with the ghost of you. You are probably busy right now. Just try to get some sleep, okay? My soul can’t handle another sleepless night.

My beautiful girl,

I am laying on the floor, adding more words to a letter that you’ll never receive. The sun woke up, a silent witness of my torment, and I can’t calm the avalanche of thoughts that surrounded me, all of them about you. Julie left a few hours ago, disappointed that her charm didn’t work on me. I let myself be kissed, hoping that it’ll be enough to fool the blood in my veins, but my imagination was not the one to be persuaded into that old trick. When my brain snapped in the middle of one of her kisses, I felt sick, disgusted with myself, like something was punching me in the stomach. She gathered her clothes, the alcohol leaving her system and we both agree that’ll be in our advantage to forget about that embarrassing moment. Yes, no more games. A few months ago I would have slept with her and called her boyfriend to let him know what kind of snake he is trying to tame. Somehow, knowing that you are closer, just a few streets away from me, is making me vulnerable, like I can sense your indignation and disapproval on my behavior. When I saw you walking out of the door, leaving the only place where you were breathing the same air as me, I couldn’t help but ran towards you. I wanted to convince you, to make you stay, but your decision was already made. Your skin was pale.Did something happen? Did you feel sick? I wanted to know, but Sam was sitting next to you, a protective hand resting on your back, and it was enough to keep my mouth shut.I noticed you leaning toward him, so I turned my back on you and pulled Julia in my arms, guiding her to my room. I was jealous. I wanted you. I’m ashamed of my thoughts, but that’s the truth. And you weren’t mine. Julia tried the entire night to catch my attention, and in my stupidity I thought that it’ll work. It didn’t. This morning, the clouds still playing on the sky, she disappeared from my room and I fell asleep. I finally managed to close my eyes and let me completely bare, letting my walls down. But you were already there. How? How did you find the entrance? No one can go past the sharp thorns of my walls.

We were sitting in the middle of a field, blue flowers were surrounding us. You waved your fingers into a small gesture, telling with no words that you were waiting for me. You took a flower and placed it into your long, gorgeous hair that was floundered like a pair of wings around your arms. You were wearing a long, ethereal, white dress, and my heart was beating extremely fast. My body started to ache, wanting to get closer to you, my eyes never missing your frame. I traced the fragile contour of your body with my eyes, and I was afraid that you’ll disappear in any second.