Letter for my nightmare

My ghost,

I saw you in my dream, but this time it was different. I was on the river shore, my white dress was stained with mud, the lace seemed to be covered in coffee grounds, a dégradé caused by the weather and the run that I made around the forest that was protecting the water. My feet were bare, but it didn’t seem to bother me as I took a small rock and throw it in the river, watching the tiny waves appearing at the surface. Suddenly, I heard my name coming from the depth of the river and I stumbled back.

“Don’t be afraid”, you said, appearing tall and handsome, your voice covered in concern, and my legs started to move toward you. A hand with flared fingers was resting in the air, ready to catch me and the hope was blooming in my chest. I wasn’t afraid, my feet were numb and the hem of the dress was keeping me back, making it hard to go forward. You were dressed in white, your clothes were soaked and clanging to your translucid skin, small drops of water were falling from your hair, stopping on your chin. One step, and another, but it was impossible to reach you. I was incredibly cold, my body was shivering, and my pale lips were trembling, only the moths were fighting like a hurricane inside my stomach. I stopped, trying to take a deep breath, exhausted and confused. Your beautiful form, your face closed in a mysterious expression, began to come closer, the moves of your body crushing the ropes of the wind with an unimaginable grace. When the distance disappeared, you smiled, sadness clinging on your lips and I wanted to ask you so many questions, but your hands found my waist, mirroring the same move you did on the girl last night. I let my eyelids closed, leaning in the warmth of your skin and your palms tightened on my back. A sharp pain traveled through my bones, my legs were bound with a chain made of seaweeds, aquatic plants were taking control of my body, covering me in a green cloak. My hands were shaking, and your eyes were searching me with curiosity. You handed me a beautifully engraved knife, that was my salvation, but the plants were sizing me faster than I anticipated, surrounding my waist, twisting and shattering the thin material of my dress. Out of a sudden, your clothes were no longer white but black, a silver tear left your eyelashes and your eyes were the color of the river. You began to move away, not bothering to look back. I tried to call your name, but my mouth didn’t want to move and you disappeared. The currents were alluring me, speaking about a land with no pain, my legs gave up, and the river caught me in his arms. I woke up crying and holding a pillow at my chest. Am I losing my mind? Maybe. I want to erase this dream from my brain. I need fresh air and maybe a walk will do me good. I hope I won’t meet you, your indifferent stare would make the dream seem more real, and I wouldn’t be able to forget it. But at the same time, my heart is longing to see you and I can’t convince her to give up. The sun is almost here, and I want to leave this room, the thought that you are so close it’s making me so restless. It’s a small town and the people are running into each other all the time, but I want you to stay away from me. I’m wondering if you ever cross your mind. I don’t think so. I’m not the type person you would think about.