Is love a calculated risk? Is a game of numbers that we are all part of? An algorithm that keeps running in the back of our heads, while we swipe left and right. An equation with a bold ex and the unknowns that require solving. Perhaps it is a game of circumstances, an unexpected run in or a meet cute like in the movies, on the plane. Every girl had once imagined that she will meet the love of her life on that flight she took alone. While I would like to believe in serendipity of it all, it has become quiet apparent that the Hollywood love is not meant to last. No wonder nothing comes after happily ever after, no one wants to disclose the real life situations.
In love, we are patient and kind, never resentful and never jealous; so when one starts feeling the opposite perhaps it is the first sign that things are falling apart. The word love itself is being used left and right, and is loosing its value on daily basis. We say that we love everything and perhaps if we had a little bit more of respect for the word, it would return the favor and treat us better.
Love is not a science, or a board game; there are no hypotheses nor there are any rules. There is no one standard size that fits us all, and the only way one can figure out love is by opening their heart and diving in. Trial and error. Heartbreak and Ice-cream. There is a theory, that each person encounters three types of love:
1) the first love – this is the type of love that we go head over heels, blindly and blissfully. We think that this is the one, the soulmate that everyone dreams of. The kind of love that you never want to let go, would climb all the mountains and swim all the rivers for. The type of love that teaches us that falling in love is the best feeling in the world.
2) the intense love – this type of love is where we learn about ourselves and our partners the most, where we may encounter jealousy, relationship anxiety. This type of love is a learning curve allowing us to feel the feels, and also learn that there may be things we like and other that we do not; we learn that even being in a couple, we may feel incomplete at times.
3) the unconditional love – and then when we have experienced and healed from heart aches, the insecurities, we fall in love ultimately and unconditionally; in this type of love we do not feel the need for any games, ultimatums, or jealousy. The person you are with will bring out the best in you and vice versa, your world will suddenly feel as one.
There is also a theory of good love and bad love, referring to the healthiness of the compatibility of the partners. Some partners are feeding off the energy of their significant other, and clearly fall under the toxic type of love.
At the end of the day, we are all just trying to find our second half that fits our orange; and while we may need to match up with a couple of half lemons, half grapefruits and half melons, that one special orange half will be waiting for us and will without a doubt find their way to us; be it through science or serendipity. All we have to do is have faith.
© Karina Saakyan 2023-07-17