Lucky me

The sun shines brightly into my eyes as I pedal along the endless streets of my neighborhood.

It is so bright I almost miss the red light and crash. So bright, the stars in my vision don’t disappear even after I close my eyes.

My friends are probably waiting for me and talking. That means it will be weird to join them. It will feel like I am a stranger and just there, so I won’t cry about not having been later.

But I see them waving already, heads stuck together and whispering into each other’s ears.

I lock my bike and run up to them, smiling like a freak. Smiling like an addict on drugs.

“Alex, you’re late.”, one says. The other nods cheekily, eyes lit by the sun.

“Well.”, I almost burst out laughing “Sorry to have you waiting.”

They look at me like I’m crazy. “Sorry.”, I say.

We get icecream after that like we planned. My icecream is too expensive for me to pay, because I just had to get two scoops. One of my friends lends me money while rolling her eyes. I’m such an idiot.

Only one table is left for us. Though that table only has two chairs and my two friends are already sat. My brunet friend holds her hand up between the sun and her eyes and keeps staring.

The sun is piercing through my eyes as well, and it’s starting to hurt.

I want to cover my eyes too, but they’re already wet from the light and a tear finally falls down my cheek.

“Alex, what is–“

They’re both staring now, and suddenly the sun feels too bright to grasp. Too bright to hold on any longer and too bright to bear the feeling of waking up every day wishing I hadn’t. I rub the tear from my face but a second and third follow. I am now sobbing.

“Oh no, are you upset because there’s no space? You know what, I’ll stand up!”, my blonde friend says and gets up immediately.

I want to tell her it’s because of the sun, because it’s just so bright, but she already pulls me into the chair.

In my seat a parasol covers the sun and I keep crying until I don’t.

Lucky me the sun was so bright, or I wouldn’t have gotten this seat.