M. (part 1)

It was 2018. Autumn in Vilnius was pressing. And so the days grew shorter and shorter.

Gripped by boredom, I downloaded Tinder and started to browse the catalogue.

After a few hours, the app informed me that someone had superliked me. Moved by curiosity, I opened the app again. And so I matched M.

M and I talked for a few days and decided to see each other.

M was tall, dark, with deep brown eyes and a doe-eyed look.

Our conversation flowed.

As we were having dinner, I ordered a horse burger and he ordered a traditional burger. When the food arrived, he asked me what it tasted like. I offered to taste it, but he refused. He explained that he was very sensitive in his stomach and did not want to risk being sick.

We talked about this and that.

His tone of voice was calm and attentive.

Outside, it was snowing. He was definitely dressed inappropriately for the weather. Anyway, he accompanied me home, we said goodbye and then he went back to his hotel.

We continued talking and he asked me to see him again.

We went for dinner again.

The conversations we had touched on the absurd. I inwardly thought ‘fuck, I have to leave now’.

We finished dinner, paid and he asked me if I wanted a drink. I disappeared with the excuse, not so much an excuse, of ‘I have to work tomorrow’.

A few days later, he left for Denmark. And then to Britain.

We kept in touch.

One day he told me that although he had been in Vilnius for three months, he had not been able to visit the old town because he was always busy with the aviation academy and exams. I told him that he should come back one day.

He must have misunderstood because a few days later he informed me that he had bought tickets to return to Vilnius and instructed me to find a flat.

I realised that he was not returning to see Vilnius, but to see me, and I told him clearly that if I was the reason for his trip, I could devote a little time to him those days, and it was better to postpone it.

I do not know why we did not understand each other, but all I know is that I found M in Vilnius while I had no free time.

He came to Vilnius and we met once.

He was pissed off. I felt uncomfortable.

He left again. I apologised for his expectations. He answered that he only hoped to find someone like me.

The conversation was cut short until the pandemic broke out.

We resumed talking.

We met again a year later. And it was beautiful.