Manifesto

I want free and committed love, I want to open up and be vulnerable without fear of being abandoned. I want to work on a sex-affective relationship that lasts in time, knowing that the eternal does not exist. I want someone who is available for me, I am tired of not being a priority, of waiting for them to be with me when they can or want, I do not want to delegate power, I want power to dissolve, I want a love without hierarchies and full of differences, I want someone who is compatible, but I also want difficulties, so we are forced to communicate everything, feelings, desires, thoughts, fears, dreams. I want to be loved despite the anxious, dark monster I can be, a shadow as overwhelming as the beauty and light I can also be. I want to know that you would be there in the difficult moments, but most of all in the moments of celebration and joy because those made me sad when I have no love to share them with. I want intimacy. I want a lot of intimacy, with you and with her and above all with myself. How far can we go? It takes dedication and time to create a healthy relationship, so how many people can we poly-love without becoming toxic? Don’t get confused, I don’t care about exclusivity, I don’t want a monogamous relationship, I might even love whoever you love. I’m too old for only casual sex in my life. I might go on a first date once in a while though. I feel that few people dare to navigate deep into a relationship anymore. Everything is complex. My desires constantly contradict each other and I don’t want to give up in the search of what I want even though that still has no form and for which I must work for a lifetime. I am certain that we all want to connect. We all want to love and be loved. How can we avoid practicing a capitalist polyamory? The kind that isolates us in a false idea of connection, that is superficial and that makes us go aimlessly from match to match. How do we practice sexo-affective responsibility? What can you offer me? What do you need? How much are you willing to give? How much of me do you want to receive? Do you want to cultivate a romantic relationship with me? Slowly, of course, I don’t want something in a hurry that dissolves with the same intensity with which it was formed. I have already learned to protect myself and I take time, I must make sure you have no red flags. It scares me that a non-hierarchical relationship between you and me is not possible, is it possible to love the colonizer? Can you not be like all of them? Can this not be a fetish? Can we love each other even though we do not speak the same language? Will the veil fall off as soon as I learn to speak like you? Will I perceive your reality differently than I do now? Let’s be patient, let’s respectfully say the horrendous with gentleness please, let’s be subtle, romantic as far as elegance allows us. How sweet tenderness is, I am seduced by compassion and empathy. Let’s work, let’s work together, join me.