Maybe Life Lies Elsewhere (1)

Wayne thinks it’s not true that talking helps. That crying helps. Sometimes you just feel exhausted and emptier after both things.
That’s how he felt after he received a message on his phone from a person that he once thought will remain the most precious in his life, a dear friend, a lover, a treasured companion along the agonizing but thrilling path of life and adolescent stupidity. B always was both a tower of strength in the surge as the ocean of life went haywire against the concrete and a surfing board that was handed to Wayne to help him conquer the challenges the ocean seemed to love throwing at him. And Wayne? He suddenly knew how to surf.
After reading that he’s now being moved on from while he was still gnawing away at the remains of the calming yet exciting entity they shared, after putting all their time together in a paragraph of verbalism as short as possible for the people he chose to tell to understand his sorrow, that’s how Wayne felt. Just exhausted and emptier. But B deserved more than a summary of events, they deserved a section in a museum, an art faire full with essays just about their attributes and how they make people feel. How they made Wayne feel. As to let people know ‘Fear not! There is still goodwill in this turbulent universe of toxicity. We all seem to know it, but I, I have experienced it firsthand.’
Almost a year passed after they parted ways. A year of Wayne running up hills, excitement and curiosity powering his soles. Almost a year passed, one of him tumbling down those very hills again and again, only to try again and again. Until he couldn’t. Almost a year passed, and he finally mustered up the courage to face his own delusion of having moved on and put everything his heart ached to say and his soul longed to cry out after months and months of lying to himself, on a beige piece of paper in shaky letters. Sealed it and rushed to the mail station before he could change his mind. Tried to prepare himself for every possible outcome: An answer that he probably would not like to hear. An answer he secretly hoped for. No answer at all. A week later, he had the pleasure of receiving the first, and now Wayne feels like nothing, nothing could have prepared him for this.
Wayne thinks that in the end, maybe their time together and everything that engulfed him whenever he was with B perhaps wasn’t so real, healing and raw to B as it was to Wayne. It was until yesterday he was sure he could say they have both been equally intense and real to each other, but now he wasn’t so certain anymore. Now Wayne is being moved on from, probably has been for a while though never knowing for sure, but now he knows. Now he also knows B did so with somebody else, moving on that is.