Moments and Memories

There are times when I am completely overwhelmed by memories, unexperienced possibilities, and choices/routes taken and no longer editable. By the memories, emotions, thoughts and feelings of others. By the moments that are recorded in memories. Revived or suddenly resurfaced. Moments that I would like to relive or memories that I live in intensely.

The question thunders: why can’t I go back? Or why couldn’t I be somewhere else? Or again, why couldn’t I stop being eternal for a little while?

An old pattern returns.

The writing becomes more unstable as the thoughts become more uncertain.

I don’t think about the present today, only about what I can’t (anymore) have.

I am wretchedly nostalgic.

Memories remain connected and incessant like a greedy child who cannot help but eat one cherry after another.

I remember Lisbon, the Alfama, the Mouraria. My time in Senegal.

Oh how I would like to relive that time, that age, that life that somewhere is a prisoner of another time (present).

Where is it? What happened to my life there?

And why do I feel like I have given it all up?