by Jolanda Otto
When we were children, many of us had imaginary friends. Lovely friends that help us, dry away our tears or laugh and play with us when there is no one else to play with or they join us while playing with a friend from other reality. Imaginary friends are friends that take their leave when we are old enough to get along without them. They only accompany us for as long as we need them to. Sometimes it makes us sad when we understand that the friend is gone forever. Some other times it makes us proud to understand that we grew again out of our shoes and out of those friends. We wish them well as we say goodbye and we hold them in honorable memory for their important part in our lifetime, for their important part of our hearts.
But what about the monsters?
There are not only imaginary friends but also monsters. Or maybe one monster. It usually hides below the bed. Parents either have it below their bed too but will never admit it is there, or they are simply not capable to see it. Usually, parents look below the bed and try to convince their child that there is no monster, only just a bunch of dirty clothes or some long forgotten toys. They make the child look below the bed with them again, so they can confirm that there is truly no monster in the room hiding far away from anyone’s eyes, that the child is safe and sound any night it spends after growing out its parents’ arms.
Here is where it becomes tricky. What if there is no monster yet? What if we know it will come but we don’t know when? We won’t know exactly what it is going to look like until the moment that we see it. The only thing that we know precisely, is that it is going to hurt us deeply, maybe worse than what we can take, maybe too much and too bad that not even time can heal our wounds, ever so much that it leaves us behind barely alive, transformed into a wretched ghost that wanders the earth in never-ending grief. The more time passes, the more likely it becomes that the monster catches our soul rather later than earlier in our life. But also, the more time passes, the closer we get to meet it. Knowing that this monster will come and that it could do things to us that are beyond our understanding doesn’t make the bed under which it will appear less cosy. It doesn’t make us sleep somewhere else or buy a new bed and it does never keep us away from sleeping at all. The bed is bound by fate to be the host of the monster just like we are bound by fate to face it sooner or later. And also, the imaginary friends are bound to leave our world. We cannot influence any of those happenings. We cannot be spared, no matter how hard we wish or how pleadingly we pray. But is there a small possibility to hold the monster in mind peacefully? Can we be able to not look below the bed every time before we can sleep tight and dream fine at night, enjoying how comfortable the bed is? Sunny and shiny. Safe and sound. Is there a graceful chance to faithfully take on our lifetime happily ever after and that one of those beautiful days, we understand that a long time ago, we grew out of the monster?
© Jolanda Otto 2022-11-28