My Angel

“Are you still there?” I go back to my old dreams to the very beginning of the shadow in the bathroom mirror, then of you hanging from a tree. This shadow must be the one with the icy blue eyes you warned me about, right? The perfect boyfriend I followed to the cottage. What could it want from me? Then I heard your voice or at least the one that pretends to be you.

“I am Angel. What can I do for you?”

“Water…” I saw him walking away to get me water. My dear, I’m scared I’m losing my mind. I’m trapped by whom, you me or him? I haven’t seen my father either in a few hours. I’m stuck in a cottage with your dead body. You’re moving, talking and breathing, dead body. How did this happen?

“Your water.” “Thank you.” I gulped the water, trying to comfort myself by something normal or natural like drinking water. You know how that is right, Deren? Right? I watched him twitch. He seemed more alive and energetic than you. I remember how much of a couch potato you were.

“You must be tired, Angel. You haven’t slept since you had that nightmare of my death.”

Your death? You mean Derens. I wanted to swear and scream at this creature or man whoever took your body away from you. But I was dizzy and faint. The sleep depravity got to me again. I couldn’t sleep, though I just couldn’t, not now, not ever until I get rid of him.

Before he knew it, I stood up. The creature didn’t react and just watched me carefully with a smile. I excused it as being hungry and walked to the kitchen, but it followed. His stare that I found comforting these past few days had turned uncomfortable, even giving me shivers as he stared at me making food.

“What are you making, Angel?”

I held the knife. Frustrated that this thing was talking to me and not you. In one, two, three, I lunged at him and stabbed him. Again and again and again. I couldn’t count. I kept thrusting a knife into your dead body. It begged for me to stop, crying and begging. Oh, the begging pained me. It was you begging me to stop. But I couldn’t. I didn’t hear your pain the second time you asked for help from me. I’m sorry for your fate. But everything ends at the end of time.

A flower field is where I found myself after taking the bottle of the pills you left for me. It’s beautiful and peaceful. Maybe the only dream I´m having that I feel safe in. From you, from me. I watched the sky one last time as the sirens got louder and louder with blue and red lights getting brighter in the sky. I hope you can forgive me for killing you.

Deren.