My Origin – the Big Bang ?

Franz Kellner

by Franz Kellner

Story

Almost every Thursday evening I watch the series “P.M. Wissen” in the Austrian TV Channel Servus TV. It fascinates me because I hear and see scientific things here, explained in a way that laypeople can understand.

Only one thing concerns me. I think about it and try to clarify what I don’t understand for myself. So, the only elements in the universe after the big bang were hydrogen, helium, and some lithium. In addition to these elements, I find within me invisible but undoubtedly there: A heart that longs for love. A conscience that strives for the good. A mind that seeks truth. I’m a result, so I think if in the origin or big bang, that’s there too.

The next thing I’m breaking my brain is. Big Bang reminds me of an explosion. Did that create something new? I would understand it better if it were said that something new is created through fusion.
When my parents met, a spark ignited that led to emotions and a fusion that I was the result of.

Later there was a bang in court when my father denied being my father. Thus, the relationship ended and no further development of love between my parents was possible. A blood test proved that he was my father after all. As I grew up, the resemblance was undeniable.

Well, the experience with bang has something more destructive for me.

I wonder, could the origin of the universe and us unique beings have something more to do with fusion? An origin that fuses love, conscience, reason and intellect with energy, creating something new that grows from the smallest to the infinite? Would be easier for me to understand.

There would be one thing for me to clarify then, but that’s another story – and quite long. Namely, why don’t I live in perfect, harmonious accord with the universe. To be honest, there is an inner bastard in me or, to put it poetically, according to Goethe “two souls live in my chest”.

Well, I have freedom and therefore responsibility within me and I can let the second, non-original soul die by not feeding it anymore. “Yes I can.”


© Franz Kellner 2023-06-19

Genres
Spirituality
Moods
Challenging, Mysterious, Reflective
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