New Year’s Eve

It’s New Year’s Eve. This time last year, I held your hand, hoping, praying you’d be with me the next time fireworks light up the sky and people stare at them in anticipation of what’s coming next.
I guess the universe didn’t hear my wishes, or it simply decided not to fulfill them, for whatever it’s worth. I’m on my own now. Living my life, reminiscing all of last year’s memories. New people have entered my life, wonderful, gorgeous souls who light up every day I’m lucky enough to wake up on. Some left. You left. By doing that, you ripped my heart out and returned it to me in shambles. It was my duty to put it back together, repair it and make it work again. I’d say I did a pretty good job. I’m able to feel again. Love again. Laugh again. I’m not going to lie, you almost killed my spark, but I forgive you for that. I forgive you, so my heart and my soul can move on in peace, find better and make the most of the rest of my life.
With all that in my tiny little mind, I’m sitting here, forcing back the tears I’d cry out of joy and relief. I’m still here. The sky is crying too. I can hear every single raindrop falling on the roof above my thought-filled head.
I want to thank you. Thank you for making me realize I’m worth more than the treatment you’ve given me those past two years. Thank you for breaking my heart. I took what was left of it and reinvented myself. I created a whole new version of myself. A better one. A stronger one. A version that you would never be able to keep even if you ever had the chance again. I can start over now. Be myself again. Leave you in the past and never allow anyone to make me feel the way you did. I promise, I won’t ever let anyone treat me like you did.
I hope that, wherever you are, you can heal from everything I couldn’t fix. I hope you wake up on a random Tuesday just to see what you’ve done. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll make it up to someone else.
This is where I leave you. I leave you in the past. I’m forgetting about you, letting go of the heartbreak and every single tear that ran down my cheeks after you crushed my soul. I sincerely hope I will never ever see your face again. Never hear your voice again and the sound of your laugh until I finally forget what it sounded like. What once was an echo of a beautiful melody in my ears suddenly became so haunting.
Goodbye to you. And welcome, new me. New life. New era. The era I deserve more than anything. Raise your glasses, ladies and gentlemen. Let the fireworks light up, not only the sky. Our souls deserve light too. Happy new year.