Yes, I’m writing again, trying to, at least. The water on this boat is more than the ocean it is floating in. Don’t get me wrong, the boat is kinda fancy. It depends on your standards. My standards are pretty weird. I’d rather not eat for weeks, than eat hummus with avocado. I mean, as an Arab, that’s really offensive. I love cheap beers and smoking weed, not to get high, but to fly where my passport won’t let me & I’m not a small talk material. You would tell me what your field of study is and I would tell you how my favorite sitcom turned out to be so sad that I don’t watch it anymore. I would also love to tell you why Robin is not the one for Ted, but somehow I’m waiting for my Robin to text me. Oh hello! Yes, I don’t know how old I am anymore. I have some gray hair and sometimes a childish attitude. I am also so funny, that my jokes would make you wish you were that fun. Being funny is not really a big deal. Especially when they don’t get your jokes.
I love my jokes. Sad, like my songs. I don’t care what music you listen to, my taste in music is way better than yours. And I am immune to sadness. Being sad now feels like a betrayal of everything I once survived. Never wanted to survive from what I once thought was my refuge. Everytime I screamed I wanted to be lost, I wished for her to follow my voice and find me. Oh hello! No, I don’t need help. In my dreams I have built kingdoms, and I’m not a normal king there, I am a God. I have always found it hard to describe myself, so I got inspired by Sabrina Benaim and now I say “that I am sweet enough to spread on toast and call dessert.” I am so sweet but my tongue always tastes bitter when I say her name. My name was never pronounced correctly in two years. In two years, I have become a person I am proud and ashamed of at the same time.
© Kamal Alhomsi 2022-09-29