Palm Trees and White Lilies (Final Part)

Everything is so neat and tidy and the room seems bright but cold due to the white walls and furnishing. In the hallway, the doctors and nurses rush from one cabin to another. I turn to Andrew as he reaches for my hand. I carefully take his hand in mine as if I could break it by squeezing it too hard. The doctor injects various needles into his body while a nurse controls his pulse. The doctor rattles down different symptoms while the nurse hectically writes them down. They exchange a knowing look and without a chance of asking them what they had found the doctor leaves the booth. They ordered an X-ray. Andrew is immediately rushed out of the room. I am left alone in this room that now feels even colder than before.

I wait impatiently for him to return and when he does everything turns upside down. They bring him back connected to multiple machines. As I want to walk towards him the nurse stops me and orders me to wait outside. I look at him in disbelief and start another attempt, but the nurse grabs me by my arm and leads me to the hallway. I free myself from his grip.“What is happening to him? What is going on?” I ask harshly. Without words, he points at his report card and places it in my hands. He sways from one foot to the other while I skim the paper in disbelief. I place the report card back in his hands and turn away from him. He leaves me behind with a pitiful look, running back to his duties.

I am standing in front of the curtain and as soon as a nurse or a doctor steps through I try catching a glimpse of Andrew. I want him to know that I am still here to help him through this. The next time someone steps inside, I see him drifting off into unconsciousness. I unsuccessfully tried to elongate myself to catch a better look at Andrew. The people rushing in and out of the room begin to become increasingly nervous, and their facial expressions turn more blank. After a while, no one is leaving the booth anymore. The only sign left of Andrew at that moment was the electrocardiogram that sounded his heartbeat. 

Everything that I had held in before started breaking over me. The salty tears roll down my cheeks and I am unable to keep my anxiety bottled within myself. The thought of Andrew not being there anymore completely numbs my whole body. I want to scream, but no voice escapes my mouth. I bite my lip at any bad picture that creeps into my mind. As I take a deep breath after what seems like an eternity, it convulses me from head to toe. The guilt soars up and a shiver is sent down my spine. The hallway starts spinning and the ceiling is breaking upon me. I try to swallow despite… despite the lump in my throat. My mouth registers the taste of fresh blood coming from biting my bottom lip too hard. Constantly wiping the streaming tears from my face I want to keep a clear mind… to support him.., to be there for him… but at the slightest thought of Andrew the sadness and fear overcome me instantly. I wrap my arms around myself not believing what has happened,.. why it has happened.