seven

my eyes feel like the opposite of deserts 

these days

i cry too much

i smoke too much

i scream too much

i don’t want to think anymore

its eating me up from the inside 

in my mind

i made a perfect version of you

i risked too much of my happiness

i don’t like myself anymore

i never catch a break from you

when did i lose myself?

i wanted to die

every single day for so many years

by all means i even tried 

so often

but now i want to see the sun rise

i want to see every sunset

i want to experience everything 

something changed

i think i can heal 

you can never know with people

they change their minds so easily 

sadness is all over me

like a second skin i can’t escape from