Shitstorm

Fast-forward to 2022. I was almost one and had acquired some pretty major skills. Like, crawling like a pro and sleeping in my own bed. It was spring and Lolo always took me out on walks in the park. Once there, she’d feed me pureed something for breakfast, and we’d gawk at the birds and the trees. One fine morning, when Papa had left for work and Lolo was rushing around, something interesting caught my eye. A potted plant that I could actually reach! I put my hand in the pot and touched mud. Wow! I scooped out a handful of mud and threw it on the floor. And then crawled over it. Lolo only noticed when there was a nice little heap on the floor. `AAAARGH!! Come on, Zayn!!’ she yelled, hands on her head. Uh-oh! ‘Let’s get you out of these muddy pants first’, she muttered, yanked my pants down and plopped me down on my bed. Now, my bed is a prison of sorts. It has railings on all sides and at the time I was too young to jump over them. ‘Lolo is going to clean up the mud on the floor and get dressed quickly and when I’m done, we can go out walking, okay?’. She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and was gone. I sat and looked around myself. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. But wait! Without my pants, I could now see the mint green straps of my diaper. I tugged at one of the straps and it came loose. Interesting! I did the same with the other strap until it came loose too. Hurrayy! I crawled forward a bit and inspected the contents of my diaper. I had pooped earlier in the day and Lolo hadn’t yet gotten around to changing my diaper, so there was that. Phooooeii! It smelt awful, but curiosity got the better of me. So I touched one brown blob and squelched it and smeared some on the bed for good measure. ‘I’m almost done, baby! Let’s get you changed now!’ Lolo sang happily, and then her footsteps screeched to an abrupt halt at the door. I watched her closely as she took in the scene. Her eyes went really wide, and she had her hands clamped over her mouth as if to stop herself from screaming. She must have stood like that for a good minute or so. Then she suddenly seemed to snap back into her senses and ran towards me, gingerly hauling me up by the arms. I was given a thorough bath and changed into fresh diapers and clean clothes. I smelled amazing! The same couldn’t be said for my room though. I was about to crawl away when Lolo scooped me up. ‘Not so fast, young man! I’ve cleaned up enough already, and it isn’t even 10 in the morning yet! You stay here!’ And so I was made to sit in the high chair, in the hallway while she flitted back and forth between the bedroom and the bathroom and the laundry room, with wipes and disinfectants, scrubbing, gagging, turning the washing machine on until the whole house began to smell nice and soapy too. Fascinating! When she was finally done and came to unstrap me from my chair, I clapped my hands in glee. ‘You brat! Don’t you dare do that again!’ Lolo wagged her finger at me, but thankfully, she didn’t look angry. I crinkled my eyes and beamed at her. Of course, it had the desired effect. I could literally see her heart melt into a puddle and drip on the floor, for God’s sake. She tousled my hair, gave me a nice big kiss and Papa got a blow-by-blow account of the whole thing at night. I don’t think either of them is going to ever let me forget this for a long, long time to come.