Sick and Tired

I am just so sick and tired of running against walls. Walls of No’s.
I am so tired of hearing

“You can’t do that!”
“Why would you do that?”
“That’s not what we do!”
“That’s impossible!”
“We don’t need that!”
“We don’t have time for this.”

I am so tired of trying to make a difference.
Tired of telling people how children can grow.
Tired of telling people what they should already know.
Tired of fighting the system on my own.
Tired of begging.
Tired of trying to make people understand that children need to feel safe and comfortable and accepted in order to be able to start learning.

Some days I just feel so alone. So alone on this journey. And those are the days when I wonder if I am asking for too much. If I am wrong and the system is right. If I am the only one who wants things to change. If school has to be the way it is. If it really has to be a place, no one wants to go. If that’s just the way things are. If this is the way it’s supposed to be. Stay that way. Maybe I am wrong and the system is right. Has been right for decades.

I am just so sick and tired. And still there is no way for me to go back to where I was. Back to their normal. I just can’t. Because once you’ve started this journey there’s no going back. Even if I’m tired and even if I feel like singing Lilly Allen’s “F*** You very much” all day long. I could never go back to doing my job or thinking the way I did. I could never go back to “Page number 34” every day. Because this is not what it’s all about. This is not real life. This is not what prepares young people for life. At least in my mind. And then I get in my car, start the engine and turn it up, listening to the wind of change. Not the song by the Scorpions but the book by Margret Rasfeld.

Frei Day – Die Welt verändern lernen! Für eine Schule im Aufbruch
von Margret Rasfeld

Trust me. Read this book. Or listen to it. A whole new dimension if you are sick and tired of always being sick and tired.