by NoahAScott
āI want to speak up, for myself, for others.
I want to scream, āI am not okay!ā and whisper ābut I will be!ā
I want to fight but Iām too weak. Actually, I am not, itās the responds I get from our society, that makes me feel that way. I know Iām not alone, but often I feel like I am. I have people I can count on, but I also know itās not always working that way. Itās the nights when Iām alone, when everyone is asleep and the world is silent for a second. Itās the time when my own thoughts haunt me more than the most horrible and haunting horror movie one can think of. Itās the times when I want to drown my thoughts in the sink and maybe, just maybe think about drowning myself, before deciding itās a bad idea. Now days we get questions about our therapists, and mental illnesses like we got questions about our education and Uni or college choice a few years ago. My generation is said to be the most depressed generation of all time, but how are we supposed not too be? We fight for our rights and we get talked down, we speak up about whatās going on in our mind and are told to be childish. We could move mountains. We live during a time where we are isolated, where holding the same piece of paper can make one cry happy tears as they havenāt had that much āphysicalā contact in weeks. Crime records go up. The suicide rate increases and Iām stuck in the middle wondering whatās actually happening. Gay means happy. We are the gayest generation to this date. But we are not happy. We are being pushed down, talked down, murdered. I, the person writing this, am illegal in 72 countries. Scary right?
Imagine, a heterosexual, cis person would be illegal somewhere, you canāt. The heads of our rather complicated world, chose to destroy us. People of color, LGBTQ+, disabled people, women. They are who the heads of our world see as the last bit in our society. In my eyes, weād be dead without the women who keep us sane. People of color, no matter what color their skin has are beautiful and valid. Yet, others feel the need to suppress them for the color of their skin. White people use so much self tan sprays, mouseās and whatever other products the beauty industry has put on the market. Only for the purpose of ānot looking too paleā. Non cis or non straight people are being murdered for loving who they love and for being their true self, parents kick out their children for being in a same sex relationship but allow a 46 year old man to marry their 14 year old daughter against her will. Parents try for a child for years and when they find out their kid has a disability they choose to give it up for adoption or even choose to have an abortion, simply because their child is a little more special.I am personally, tired of telling my story over and over and over again. Whenever I open up to someone and speak out the words āI am transgenderā I am being asked the same questions over and over again.
āWhatās your (old) name?ā, āDo you still have boobs or do you have a penis?ā, āDid you choose your own name, you must be so lucky!ā
Ā© NoahAScott 2021-03-15