A few years ago, I met a stranger in a park who noticed my tears from afar and joined me in a conversation. I was crying over a boy, and was having doubts of the relationship, as my gut feeling slowly whispered he is cheating. The stranger smiled at me, and after he had heard the painful echo of my heart he sat closer, and he told me:
If there is even a fraction of a doubt in your mind and most importantly you heart, don’t do it. Don’t go for something you are not 100% sure about. If it is something that is right for you, you will feel it in your heart. It will be scary. A wave of fear and excitement will run through your body. But it won’t be doubt, no. You won’t feel heavy with each decision you make, or the hurt with each stare you share. The life turns will be unpredictable, eventful, and will lead you to the person you are supposed to become. When you feel followed by a cloud of doubt, take a moment and just think to yourself what makes you feel insecure?
He took a moment to look up, and he saw my swollen eyes tired of crying start to fill up with hope and my heart eager to hear more. Sitting there on a cold bench in the rain, it felt like there was finally someone in this world who has understood my pain. The flashback of events just ran in front of my mind, why was I letting this doubt come over me? Was the person giving me the reasons to doubt him? Or was it an epic self sabotage?
In life, the stranger had continued nothing comes out of nowhere. If you are feeling something that makes you doubt or question, you probably picked up on the hints, the signs. Sometimes these are very subtle and take time to be noticed, and sometimes you will know right away. People around you will always talk, there will always be white noise to confuse your feelings. Remember, each step you take should be solid and not shaken.
That afternoon, the stranger left me with a metaphor that has since followed me in each decision I had to make, to ensure that I am taking solid steps forwards.
Life is like a game of Tetris; each puzzle piece must fall into its place, and at its right time. You jump ahead, and your piece is out of place. You wait in doubt, and suddenly realized you waited too long and the opportunity is now gone.
© Karina Saakyan 2023-07-17