Stuck in my own mind

Sylvia_xxx

by Sylvia_xxx

Story

Who I am, I no longer know.

I probably knew once, but even that has been lost to time.

Like a broken record player, I keep repeating my mistakes.

I know I am not to blame.

Yet I must still shoulder this collapsing amount of shame.

I could have changed. Maybe I did change.

Relying on feelings that don’t belong.

I pretend to be a human.

I pretend to be like the rest.

I stretch this godforsaken world.

To find myself alone again.

Left with only my thoughts to fight.

Dread creeping closer.

I am lost in myself.

Clouded by self-doubt.

I am lost.

Misplaced and stuck.

Dissociation is my curse to carry for locking her out.

I should have understood.

I should have looked, but I was frozen like a deer in headlights.

Letting fate unfold itself without protest.

This doesn’t feel right, but what would I know?

After all, I don’t feel.

Must I spell everything out to be noticed, heard, and seen?

My tears burn.

My skin feels foreign, and I am not.

I might have been.

But in my opinion, I never was.

This is but the life of nobody.

Of me.

© Sylvia_xxx 2024-03-02

Genres
Biographies
Moods
Dunkel, Emotional, Traurig, Dark, Sad
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