Subtext

“…and remember: people normally don’t mean exactly what they say. You have to read between the lines, and please don’t take things literally!”

The voice message ended and Jill went on to her online date. She shouldn’t have bet she could jump over a chair without spilling her wine. But you also can’t take back a drunk promise in the morning. Her date was already sitting in the restaurant. As she sat down, she heard a mechanical voice in her head: Subtext activated.

“You must be Jill! It’s so nice to finally meet you! (It would have been even nicer if you had been on time or at least made an effort instead of checking your phone while walking here)”, James said smiling.

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too. Sorry, I’m late,” Jill said, a bit confused at the text in brackets that had appeared in front of her date, like subtitles.

“Oh, don’t worry about it! (At least you’ve got some manners…). I hope you don’t mind that I’ve already ordered some wine. (And I hope you have a low alcohol tolerance.),” James said, still smiling politely.

“That’s really sweet of you, but I don’t really day-drink. Especially not during the week”. Jill started to get suspicious, but wanted to remain civil. She also started to feel as if even the subtitles had subtext.

“I’m so sorry! I saw pictures of you partying on your profile, so I thought you’d be cool with one glass of wine for lunch… (… or cool in general)”, there was a hint of disappointment in his voice.

Feeling a bit bad about it, Jill replied: “I suppose I could have one glass. After all, the thing that convinced me to go on this date was a lost bet I made when I was drunk.”

James laughed and said: “Ouch. Don’t you think it’s a bit hurtful to call someone a punishment for a lost bet? But it’s good to know that you like fun. (And to know that you like making bad decisions.)”

Jill did not like where this was going, but James kept on talking: “It’s really refreshing to see a girl with a sense of humor that is not wearing pink head to toe. (Please don’t be one of those hyper-feminine feminists. They’re exhausting.) My ex is that type, and I’m really glad we broke up. (I mean, she started going out like that after we broke up. And it does look good on her, but it’s irritating.) You’re not like other girls. (I hope this makes you feel special enough to come home with me after this.)”, he properly looked at her for the first time in a while and became hesitant.

Jill had stopped smiling and was instead pulling up an eyebrow: “James, this was interesting, but I think it’s time for me to leave.”

James wanted to protest, but there had been a chilliness in her voice and look that had caught him off guard. When she was out of sight, Jill took out her phone and started recording a voice message: “I suppose you were right about the subtext. But at the same time, I’m afraid we’d go extinct without it, love.”