ten

i murdered my old self

but the new one isn’t much better

i want to kill every version of myself

living in other people minds 

i want to see my blood ruining my arms 

again and again

cause i’m so bad at life 

i’m sensible like a rose but

they treat me like a thorn 

they cut my petals off a long time ago

he dimmed light from the kitchen

i just listen to your voice

quietly 

whispering things i don’t want to hear

when i remember you and me

your face shines so much brighter

than in reality

my dreams gained the upper hand 

its your voice that calms me

when I’m feeling a storm inside me

and the only thing I can think about is the way I should kill myself

I just need to hear your voice

Today I woke up feeling satisfied

uncertainty isn’t killing me anymore

Yesterday some tears escaped

but I stopped myself

from crying an ocean full

i need to move on

heartbroken and full of GUILT for your actions 

you could have been NICE to my fragile person