Some say love is the essence of life, it’s our life’s purpose to find love. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s not – that falls under the many things I have not figured out yet. One thing I do know is that I love dramatising crushes. So, naturally, you are going to find texts here that will make you think I found or lost ´the one´ when actually I just saw someone beautiful on the bus or a person I passed by on the street was smiling at me a little wider than expected.
The cliff
I feel like I’m falling again
falling without anything to catch me when I crash
Falling without anything to open my eyes and making me realise
what’s true and what’s not.
I stumbled into you
And without me realising, you managed to push me
Just a blink ago I was crawling up the walls of the cliff I fell off so long ago
And now I’m in free fall…………………Again
I stumbled into you and now I’m falling
And this fall is not like the one before. This fall is worse.
It’s worse because there’s no soft pillow that can catch me at the end.
It’s worse because I’m falling alone, and I can’t see you next to me.
You pushed me down this cliff while standing up straight.
Standing securely at the edge, gazing into the horizon with confidence and trust
While I’m falling
With a beating heart, a confused mind and a delusional sense of reality
I was so safe at the walls of the cliff I was climbing before.
I knew them – I’d been there for years – I miss them now.
They were painful but familiar. Nothing surprised me there.
But now I’m more surprised than ever
That push of yours came out of nowhere.
I saw you before, and you were so peaceful and kind.
And then WOSHHH
Here I am falling and wondering how to stop just to start another painful climb up this damn fucking cliff.
© Merle Teschner 2024-08-27